“Your grandmother was a jellyfish and your uncle smelt of wet socks!” Silly, absurd, never vulgar.
Your mission: the French soldier is back, and he needs new insults! Invent your own Monty Python insults: silly, absurd and creative — never vulgar. Then use them to act out the scene (Step 4).
The rules of the game
🚫 No swear words, no vulgar words.
🚫 Never about a real person, never about a classmate.
🚫 Never about someone's real appearance, origin, religion or family.
✅ The more absurd, the funnier: hamsters, elderberries, turnips, coconuts…
1Get some inspiration
Click the button…
2Mix your own
Use the recipes of the lesson and these words — or better, your own words! Write five insults on a sheet of paper.
Family
mother
father
grandmother
grandfather
aunt
uncle
great-grandmother
cousin
Animals
a hamster
a giraffe
a jellyfish
a penguin
a goldfish
a llama
a hedgehog
a sea cucumber
a chicken
a camel
Smells
elderberries
old cheese
wet socks
boiled cabbage
mouldy sandwiches
fish fingers
sour milk
burnt toast
dusty carpets
rotten turnips
Compound adjectives
empty-headed
cabbage-brained
pea-sized
jelly-legged
spaghetti-armed
bucket-footed
potato-nosed
porridge-hearted
Strange jobs
animal food-trough wiper
teacup licker
sock collector
pudding juggler
carrot polisher
snail tamer
biscuit counter
puddle splasher
Silly orders
Go and boil your bottoms
Go and polish your helmet
Go and count your coconuts
Go and teach your horse to knit
Go and wash your dragon
Go and sing to your turnips
Childish actions
I blow my nose at you
I sneeze in your general direction
I wave my socks at you
I yawn in your general direction
I throw my cabbages at your castle
I wiggle my ears at you
3Battle of insults!
In groups, read your insults aloud with your best French accent. Vote for the most creative ones: you will use them when you act out the scene.
☐ My insults are silly and absurd: no swear words, nothing vulgar.
☐ They are for the characters of the scene, never for a real person.
☐ Never about someone's real body, family, origin or religion.
☐ I used at least three different recipes.
☐ I can say them with a perfect outrageous accent!